


"What Else?"

by amandasarmada



Series: What Else? [1]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8114902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandasarmada/pseuds/amandasarmada
Summary: Picks up during and immediately after "Institutional Memory" - CJ's answer to Danny's question, and the consequences.





	1. Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> If you're confused about why this story is so similar to my "Alternate" version - that was the original draft, written back in 2014. I've since edited it significantly, trying to tie up all the loose ends we're left with at the end of the episode, and in a more organic way than I feel like my first draft achieved. I thought it would be unfair to just delete my old draft though, since that's the one that gained all the kudos/hits, and I also thought it might be misleading to attribute those merits to *this* draft, since it's a really different piece of writing (at least IMO). Soooo, I removed the original from the series, without taking it offline, and supplanted this instead. The result is the piece before you, which was the cause of countless sleepless nights and rewrites. but which ultimately I'm (mostly) satisfied with. I hope you enjoy. <3

**Tuesday, January 9th, 2007**

**1:57 pm**

He paced the sidewalk a block away from the hotdog vendor, oblivious to the January wind cutting at his skin.

This couldn't be happening. For God's sake, he knew she wasn't going to be ready to get _hitched_ a week after the Inauguration or anything, but the thought that she hadn't even entertained the idea – or the idea of _anything_ that might give legitimacy to the way they felt about each other...

_Maybe it's just physical for her._

Danny groaned aloud, sitting down on a random set of steps that marked the way into an unfamiliar apartment building as a wave of dizziness rushed over him. His pulse was raging, waves of nausea spiraling through him. He buried his head in his hands, willing his heart not to break.

It wasn't. It wasn't just physical. He opened his eyes, peering through his fingers at the sidewalk below him, trying to organize his thoughts.

 _It wasn't._ Try as she might to remain aloof, remain professionally detached for the past 8 years before she'd finally, mercifully, given in to the potential of them becoming something, those years had been marked by illicit confessions and meaningful gestures that had went far, far beyond flirting. She'd always slipped up, and if C.J. had just been _lusting_ after him for all that time – C.J. wouldn't have let herself slip up just for that.

_“For **three years** I've been thinking about what might have been, if it weren't for the - conflict - and I'm  **almost** over it, I'm  **right there** -and you come back, with your scruffy face, and your jokes, and your incredible talent - and your way of **getting** at... **getting at me!** "_

The memory hit him like a brick, as he tried to steady his breath.

“ _I'm_ _ **almost**_ _over it, I'm_ _ **right there**_ _-”_

She hadn't been able to get over him, no matter how hard she'd tried.

You didn't stay hung up on someone for years and years if you didn't have a genuine connection with them. If it didn't _mean_ something to you. No, he was in _her_ head too – he _' got at her_' – she'd said it herself.

And then another memory emerged, this one from years later.

“ _I wanted to see you_.”

He thought of the earnest, vulnerable look in her eyes as she'd stared across the table at him. She hadn't shown up that night because she wanted to make a man out of him in the backseat of her car. She missed him. She was as eager to see his face as he was hers.

Danny exhaled, rubbing his face as some of his anxiety subsided. No, it was real, this was not one-sided.

_Then what the hell had just happened there? What was_ _**wrong** _ _with her? How could she_ _**do** _ _this to him?_

He tried to steady his breathing, his face still contorted with grief.

Maybe he had overreacted...or no, 'overreacted' wasn't quite the right term; he knew he was entitled to feel hurt, even indignant, by her casual dismissal of what he thought they had built. So not overreacted...rather, maybe he had _misjudged_ her reaction, in the moment. Maybe her aloofness wasn't apathy, it was self-preservation.

He thought he must have hit something here – and he understood why the thought hadn't come sooner to him. He'd never been like that. He was a creature of objective openness - pure honesty, for better or for worse - and he wore his heart on his sleeve. That translated into a lack of dignity that C.J. had reminded him, again and again, was a luxury she could never afford.

Danny breathed slowly, running his hands through his hair.

Maybe she just -

_maybe, maybe, maybe_

It was the uncertainty that killed him. If she just wasn't interested, it would scorch him, devastate him, but at least he could try to cut off that wounded part of his heart, and limp on, in whatever way he could manage. It was this toying with him that made him feel like he was just eternally doomed, destined to have his heart ripped out and stomped to a grind with her shiny heels, over and over again as she danced around his proposals.

But maybe she was feeling as vulnerable as he was. Maybe, even, she felt as broken as he did, as she made her way back to the White House right now. Maybe her dreams were full of swing sets and small bodies topped with big blue eyes and auburn mops too, but instead of elating her, they terrified her. Maybe she needed him to show her the path.

He blew on his frostbitten hands, deep in thought.

All he knew was that if there was even a chance of getting her, he had to grasp it, follow it like a story she was dangling over his head. He was uneasily aware of how painful the possible failure was, but the thought of the success – his breath stopped at the very thought. It was worth it. No-brainer. He didn't care how much patience or agony would be required of him. The “maybe” was worth it.

Because maybe - just maybe - she really was in love with him too, and she was just a complete and utter idiot about it.

* * *

“ _Incrementalism is not an option. I'm forced into a heroic posture.”_

* * *

**Tuesday, January 9th, 2007**

**11:14 pm**

C.J. stared at the door to Danny Concannon's apartment, trying to string two words together in her exhausted mind. She closed her eyes, clutching her coat closer around her and tilting her head up, hopeful for some inspiration.

It was a moment for brave gestures.

Over the span of the past 8 years, C.J. Cregg had become a connoisseur at faking bravery. She was bold and strong and when someone threw something at her, she caught it deftly and hurled it right back at them. That was who she'd become.

And so she would have thought she'd feel steadier, flanked by multiple Secret Service agents and armed with the ability to make grown men cry - but mostly, standing there, she just felt anxious and embarrassed and ashamed.

Which was stupid, of course, because she was _brave_ goddamnit, and Danny...Danny was a puppy, who gazed at her adoringly and wanted to jump off a cliff with her. But it was also emphatically _not_ stupid, she reminded herself - because her prancing around trying to be the Tough Unshakable C.J. Cregg, the one always calling the shots, had backfired phenomenally today, and she wouldn't really have blamed him if he'd chosen to ignore her text message ten minutes before, reading only: “ _Can I come over?_ "

Instead, he'd responded – simply, ambiguously - “ _Yes_.”

With this unnerving thought hanging over her, C.J. felt the tears start to form, and she hugged her arms even closer, emotionally exhausted by the day's events. She was terrified, and she was tired, and all she wanted was to fix this.

She really had no idea how in the hell she was going to fix this.

A wave of nausea ran over her, and she shifted her weight from foot to foot as she tried to steady her breath.

She didn't have any idea what Danny was going to say (hell, she didn't even know what exactly _she_ was going to say) and she was preparing herself for the worst. Because really, what were the chances? Seven years of waiting just to have to put up with her mess? She was good at an enormous variety of things, but she was not good at this – she could flirt and laugh and feel good with the best of them, but she hadn't been able to trust herself to succumb to this out-of-control serious commitment he wanted from her. No. She was cranky and stressed and she didn't know how to do it.

Opening her eyes, C.J. stared at the waiting door over the shoulder of one of her Secret Service agents, and felt the last of her spirits slip from her like dropped marbles scattering across the floor.

 **No** , she was not good at this, not at _all_ , and Danny should pick up and deal with it, because he deserved better and she wasn't going to give it.

She closed her eyes again.

She was being an idiot.

C.J. took a deep, shaking breath, and knocked.

 

* * *

 

The disappointed, hurt look on Danny's face when he opened the door was enough to make her want to curl up into a ball.

She knew she had to face this, because if there was even a chance of making this work, she had to jump on it.

She met Danny's eyes, her expression tentative and vulnerable and resigned.

She had _no idea_ how to fix this.

All she could do was try.

* * *

“You can be _scared_. That's _okay_.” C.J. stared at him, her heart racing as he continued. “But you're not going to walk away from me because you're scared.” Danny paused, the shadow of a smile on his face. “I'm _not that_ scary.”

 _You have no idea_ , she reflected - but she could feel herself almost smiling for a second as she gazed at him. As his words sunk in, she felt her emotions well up, like a tidal wave, and she looked away instinctively before the dam broke, trying to summon her resolve. C.J. could feel his eyes on her, and the grin threatening to spread across her face grew wider. One word repeated itself through her mind, making her heart swell. _Maybe, maybe, maybe._

“... _So_ , uh,” she finally managed, swallowing her grin. He watched her, his eagerness threatening to overpower his facade of patience. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, her eyes sparkling hopefully as she marshaled her thoughts. “...Do you want me to take - one of the Board of Directors jobs? It's only a couple of hours a month-”

His voice cut through, jarring her. “Now where the hell did _that_ come from?!”

She felt her heart plummet, and she struggled hopelessly to steady her breath; it was no use. She'd messed it up again. She looked at him desperately, her exclamation bursting out in exasperation. “I'm _trying_! You want to be involved, I, I'm-”

He shook his head, his voice conveying all the exhaustion of the past few months – ' _or years, really,'_ she thought to herself - as she gazed at him anxiously. “I want you to do what you _want_ to do,” he explained, sounding wary. “Take the job at the White House, I just want you to talk to me about it!” C.J. watched him, her thoughts scattershot as his words washed over her. “I want us to talk about what it will _mean_ and how we'll make it work. I want us to talk like we're gonna figure it out _together_.”

She felt strangely lightheaded; she thought she could hear her heart pounding in her ears, as she forgot to breathe for a moment.

“I want us to _talk_...” Danny exclaimed, “Because I _like the sound of your voice_.” He looked at her wistfully, pausing for a moment. “I just want to _talk_.”

She continued to stare at him, dizzy and hopeful, her heart melting as the words she'd been resolutely pushing out of her head all day came barraging in uninvited.

She was not ready to tell him; she was scarcely even prepared to admit it to _herself_. It cut her to think it, to realize what not telling him was probably doing to him, but the thought of saying the words out loud still paralyzed her; all she could do was stare at him, basking in the emotion she couldn't bring herself to say.

And suddenly, for the first time in years, she allowed herself to have an image of the future he could share with her. It didn't seem like a self-indulgent fantasy anymore, but more like peeping into a window in time. It felt like sinking into a warm bath, as words and images weaved through her mind. She could actually marry this man.

When she found her voice, it was a meek little olive branch, as the quiet voice in her head's tentative war cry – _maybe, maybe, maybe_ – resumed its furtive call.

“Franklin Hollis...wants me to take ten billion dollars, and go and fix the world.”

Danny's eyebrows raised slightly; he took a step towards her, the hope in his voice impossible to miss. “That sounds like fun.” His eyes were eager, searching. “Does that sound like fun to you?”

She stared at him, frozen - then nodded, slowly but firmly.

He studied her. “Do you _want_ to work in the White House?”

She continued to gaze at him in silence, the shadow of a smile overtaking her face as she shook her head.

They looked at each other, and a hesitant, jubilant understanding passed between them, and it was too much for her. She glanced down for a second, collecting herself.

“There's a typo in the Constitution.”

Danny's eyes widened slightly, his dry wit evident even at this precarious moment. “Well somebody should look into that.”

“Toby's gonna deal with it.”

“Okay.” He was patient, always, but he'd had to wait so long already. “...What else?”

 

 


	2. Mr. CJ Cregg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up immediately after the end of "Institutional Memory."

For a moment silence hung over them, as CJ stared at him uneasily, without a clue as to how she was supposed to start weeding through the few thousands of things she wanted to say to the man standing in front of her. A seed of hope had sprung up inside her, and there was a smile coating the look of determination in Danny's eyes that left her feeling even dizzier than when she'd walked in. The voice whispering __maybe, maybe, maybe__ had gotten louder and more insistent, making it harder for her to sort through her thoughts.

Her lip quivered for a second, as Danny gazed determinedly back at her, at a loss for what to say. Their relationship had been built for eight years on subtleties and double entendres, on covert glances and reading between the lines; it was the only language she knew. Now she was faced with finally stripping off the veneer, expected to knock down all the walls she'd worked so hard to build as if they'd been crafted from something as insubstantial as air itself.

Danny's gaze was steady, his heart laid open freely before her, inviting her to do what she pleased with it.

And then, without so much as a warning, it was spilling out - the first thing that came into her head.

“...I want you to be Mr. CJ Cregg.”

There was a lull, the words simply hanging between them for a moment. CJ hesitated, looking into that face she'd come to memorize. She felt cold, and her voice seemed to be wandering around up in Canada somewhere.

“...What did you say?” Danny asked breathlessly, stepping forward. There was another pause.

She bit her lip, managing a tearful smile as she let out a long, slow breath, her shoulders trembling. This was it. Soul-baring time. Future-deciding time.

Her words came slowly, her voice low as she plunged herself into the sea of emotions she'd been fighting so hard to keep her head above.

“It occurred to me today, that you keep using...phrases...” She swallowed, shivering a little as she tried to make her point. “Insinuating, that I think we are –” CJ took a long, shaky breath, her eyes pouring into his. “Less than we are.”

She paused, staring soberly at him. “And before we even deal with – _anything_ else,” she continued quietly, “I want to clear something up.” She touched his chest for a second, almost instinctively, as if she were testing the waters, and Danny could only stare at her in silence. His heart was racing, his mind still trying to grasp the elusive words that his brain kept insisting having heard only moments before.

“I'm crazy about you,” she confessed.

He smiled sweetly, that stupid smile that always made her heart skip a beat, and she felt more phantom words rising to her throat, and then they were crashing over them.

“ _Stupid_ crazy,” she continued gently, swallowing as her breath slipped away from her. “Bona fide, head-over-heels, gaga.” She sighed, as Danny granted her what might have been the most genuine smile she'd ever seen.

Her breath was heavy, and she paused as he took another step closer, a calm, hopeful smile spreading across his features.

“I know,” he said softly, his voice raspy. “I make you walk into doors,” he reminded her.

CJ's face burned, and she faltered for a moment. “Danny,” she said quietly. She closed her eyes, tightening her coat sash again.

“...When I come over,” she said slowly. “And it's - eleven o'clock at night, and I fell asleep in my office the day before, and I'm running on three hours sleep, in a week averaging at most six hours a night -” She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze soberly. “...And I crawl into your bed, and I look into your dumb scruffy face-” she managed a shaky smile, her voice quiet.

Danny tipped his head, smiling patiently.

“...It's not because - I want my weekly _booty call,”_ CJ swallowed, her eyes watery. “And it's not because I'm - waiting to 'get sentimental at Christmas.'” She exhaled, blinking quickly a few times. “That's not what this is.”

“So what is it?” Danny replied softly, offering her a gentle smile.

“I adore you, nimrod.” Her voice was soft and earnest.

Danny grinned, bowing his head a little.

“I thought you...knew that,” she said quietly.

He glanced back up, his voice raspy. “I hoped it,” he admitted.

CJ nodded slightly, closing her eyes again as she stifled a sigh. “Well - now it's...unambiguous.”

“Oh'kay,” he said sweetly, smiling at her.

He paused, his eyes melting as he studied her. “...CJ?” he added tentatively. She bit her lip, meeting his eyes uncertainly.

“That was – don't get me wrong, possibly the best 60 seconds of my life,” he grinned. “But - I think you said something else at the beginning?” His voice dropped to a whisper, his boyish smile reeking havoc on her nerves. “Something I would be very interested in hearing more about.”

CJ thought back, realization slowly dawning. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Danny grinned at her.

CJ took a deep, shuddering breath, collecting her thoughts as she faced him.

“It was something to do with matriarchal titles, if I recall correctly,” he said raspily, smiling gently at her.

“...I've been hearing you say it in my head, over and over again all day,” she murmured. “... _All_ day,” she repeated softly, shaking her head a little.

“...And I know, I want it, I just - have no... _idea..._ how to get from here to there.”

Danny was smiling, the wistfulness in his eyes impossible to miss.

“I do want it,” she repeated quietly, speaking slowly as she tried to channel her breathing.

“Want what?” Danny asked softly. His eyes were searching, his lips far too close for hers.

CJ chewed on her bottom lip, smiling tearfully as she searched for the words to say. “You know,” she sighed, looking at him longingly.

“I want to hear you say it,” he whispered back, still smiling.

CJ exhaled slowly, meeting his eyes.

“I don't know... _A_ _ _ll__ of it?” she offered, laughing lightly. Danny's eyes were gazing at her intently, hopeful and a little amused. “The... his-and-hers, sharing a life together thing.” A few of the tears she'd been pushing back earlier had started to fall; she wiped them away impatiently, staring at him blearily.

“I want it,” she confessed softly, glancing down and smiling as Danny found her hand.

“I want that future, I just – I need you to hang out, and - hold my hand, or whatever - while I figure out how to make it happen.” She paused, and this time the words weren't an accident.

“...I want you to be Mr. CJ Cregg,” she said tentatively.

Danny gazed at her, gingerly taking a step forward again. CJ's eyes bored into him as she returned her gaze to his.

“And I just want you to know - if _that's_ what this is about...” She squinted slightly, considering him. “Me - 'choosing' to have you...” she explained. “...That's what I'm doing,” she said calmly, her eyes gleaming in the soft evening light. “I'm - _choosing_ you.”

They moved closer in tandem, their noses brushing for the briefest of moments. CJ fell silent, their eyes closed as they stood in each other's wake. She could feel his breath on her cheek, warm and steady and smelling faintly of scotch. A single tear slipped out before she could stop it, yet she managed to stifle the sob that threatened to break the silence.

Danny was quiet, studying her. She stared solemnly back at him, trying to communicate paragraphs with each syllable. “So...I guess that's - _something_ ,” she added hopefully, as she managed a weak smile.

“That's something,” he agreed, and his eyes were watery as he reclaimed her other hand in his, beaming at her.

They gazed wistfully at each other for a moment, relief and joy washing over them. Danny pressed his forehead gently to hers, their noses grazing again.

And then, before she could even begin to process anything, Danny's lips were on hers, and it was blissful oblivion; her breath stolen and mind wiped mercifully blank. Sweet and soft, his warm lips slid smoothly across hers as he pulled her toward him. He let her hands drop, weaving his fingers through her hair, one arm draped around her waist as he held her body against his. CJ cupped his face in her hands, tracing the edge of his beard, their noses bumping together in their haste for closeness.

A moan escaped the back of her throat as his lips brushed gently, confidently against her own; she could feel the sense of desperation emanating from him as he captured her mouth with his, yet his kisses were slow and deep, and there was no room in her head for anything else as she instinctively responded.

It seemed to last forever, just them, in their own little world, her body pressed fiercely against him, his hands pulling her eagerly closer...there was no guilt or worry or uncertainty or fear; there was just his safe, comforting embrace, and his ability to make her head spin. CJ sighed slowly, smiling faintly as they exchanged kisses.

This was the part she was good at. She could handle this.

* * *

He was enjoying it too much and he knew it, but he couldn't quite summon the strength to pull away. She was soft and warm and she'd scared the hell out of him today, and he needed a few minutes to appreciate what she was offering him, to just cherish the feeling of her body in his arms.

“ _I_ _ _want__ _you to be Mr. CJ Cregg_ ," CJ muttered seductively, slipping a hand up under his sweater as she brought her mouth back to his.

“Ohhh, don't do that,” he pleaded hoarsely, beaming at her.

“I know. I'm sorry-” she grinned at him. “I just... _want_ you,” she said wistfully, her lips brushing against his.

He laughed out loud, delirious as he captured her mouth again and again. She slid her thumbs into the waistband of his jeans, pulling him closer to her as she sighed into his smile.

His lips were sore by the time he managed to pull his mouth from hers, both of them gasping as if they'd just finished a race.

He kissed the side of her face, resting his lips beside her hair.

“CJ,” he breathed. He tightened his grip on her waist, trying to steady her. She was shaking a little; he had that effect on her.

“I know...you're exhausted...” Danny continued, whispering into her ear. “And it seems like it would be _so_ much easier to just...do _this_ ,” he murmured, brushing his lips briefly against hers as he faced her.

He sighed, shaking his head a little to clear his thoughts. “And believe me,” he confessed, meeting her eyes. “Part of me _wants_ to...” he said softly. “To just,” he sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “...bring you to bed, and forget about the world-” CJ's knees trembled as his warm breath tickled her earlobe. Danny paused, summoning his strength.

“I want to,” he repeated hoarsely. “I'm just worried it'd be a quick fix,” he explained, smiling sadly. “I'm worried that if we don't talk about it _now_ , it's just gonna be even harder later on-”

“I know. You're right, we should stop.”

Danny gazed at her, half-smiling, as CJ managed a tearful smile of her own.

“Okay,” he said softly, kissing her forehead.

CJ inhaled sharply. “And - I don't want to get...distracted,” she added, her voice breaking slightly. She met his eyes tentatively. “I don't want you to think that's why I came over here.”

Danny's lips twitched; he offered another smile as he studied her. “...Ah. Well -” he grinned, squeezing her hand, his lips capturing a final hasty kiss. “I'm hard to resist, can't fault ya for that.”

She closed her eyes again, shaking her head as she choked on a laugh. He was still awfully close to her. She could feel his breath on her cheek, her heart pounding a mile a minute.

“I'm serious. I don't want you to feel like-” she paused, struggling to articulate it. “This isn't a _ _booty call__ ,” CJ pressed, gazing at him pleadingly. “I'm supposed to be eating crow.”

“A'kay,” he said patiently, smiling slightly and looking at her expectantly. His hands had settled on her waist. CJ cleared her throat, taking another deep breath as she peered at him through heavily lidded eyes.

“...So, we should probably not stand quite so close.”

“A'kay,” he repeated softly, his eyes locked on hers. Neither of them moved, and Danny sighed sweetly, tenderly starting to rub her back. CJ groaned, closing her eyes.

“Whatsa matter?” His voice was barely a whisper against her ear.

“...I can't __think__ when you do that,” CJ murmured bitterly. She still made no move to break away. Danny grinned, rubbing his cheek across her smooth hair.

“Well, in my defense, you're pretty hard to resist too,” he replied raspily.

“Flirt,” she muttered accusingly, her eyes amused.

“Sure,” he agreed, smiling back at her.

She met his eyes, her expression torn. Adrenaline was coursing through her; her hands were actually shaking. Danny paused, gazing back at her intently.

“You okay?” he asked softly. His eyes searched hers, and she had a horrible flashback to that afternoon.

“I'm _sorry._ ”

He didn't need context; it was one of the many things about him she found both scary and wonderful – he was so often intuitively, uncannily aware of her moods and thought processes.

“...I know,” he said quietly.

She stared into his pale blue gaze, fighting to keep more tears at bay. Her expression was serious as she faced him, her voice almost impossibly soft.

“I never, ever meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” he said swiftly.

She continued to peer at him, searching for something good enough to say.

“...You're being too nice to me,” she grimaced.

“Ah, well...” Danny shrugged, and his voice was as soft as his smile. “You're easy to be nice to.”

CJ looked at him lovingly, and he beamed back, tracing her cheek.

The unspoken words reverberated through her mind again, coupled with the image of his face that afternoon - and before she could stop them, another round of tears suddenly arose. This time they fell, thick and fast, slipping stubbornly down her cheeks.

“Hey, hey-” Danny's eyes widened slightly.

“Sorry,” she gasped, shuddering, as another hot tear slipped out.

She trembled as she pulled sharply away, their eyes meeting as intensely as their lips had.

Danny squeezed her hand reassuringly, swiftly searching her gaze, and she closed her eyes for a moment, willing the flow of tears to cease. “I'm sorry,” she repeated, shivering. “I'm just tired,” she explained, sniffling impatiently.

“Ah'kay,” he said softly, watching her in wonder.

CJ shifted her weight slowly from side to side, her eyes still closed tightly, her face screwed up in desperate concentration. He wanted to hold her – the impulse to embrace her was almost irresistible - but even as he thought it, she shook her head, almost as if she could hear him.

“Give me a minute,” she managed, her whole body tensed.

Danny waited patiently as she worked to pull herself together; a moment later she'd opened her eyes, squaring her shoulders as she considered him. Her breathing was still harsh, but her features had settled into some faint semblance of calmness.

“...You okay?” he prompted lightly, studying her.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.” CJ took a deep, steadying breath, rubbing her arms. “...I'm sorry,” she said softly.

“For what?”

“I'm a mess.”

“Why?” he asked gently.

She looked at him shrewdly. “Because I have one of the most difficult jobs in the world, on top of struggling with very - _intense_ feelings, that I have neither the time nor the fortitude to wade through - coupled with a feeling of shame and guilt for not being able to wade through them.” Her voice was dry, her expression weary. “Add that to roughly nine years' worth of sleep deprivation and you're looking at the molotov cocktail of early afternoon lunch dates.”

“Well, that would do it.”

She stared at him.

“I'm serious,” she said quietly.

He gazed calmly back at her. “So am I.” He hesitated, stroking the sides of her arms.

“...Take a breath,” he suggested softly, bringing his face back to the side of her ear. She nodded, closing her eyes. “We're gonna be okay, CJ. You don't have to look so worried.” His voice was gentle, yet she could feel her knees start to quiver again.

“Just breathe,” he added sweetly, pulling away to kiss her forehead. He smiled at her, his gaze calm and understanding.

CJ sighed, wringing her hands as she scanned the room, before finally turning her gaze back to him. She bit her lip; her words were soft, apologetic.

“...Do you think we could sit down?”

 

  
  


  
  


 


	3. Eating Crow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think we could sit down?” “...Sure,” he said gently.

“Can I take your coat?”

Danny's hands moved smoothly over her shoulders as she allowed him to slip it off, tentatively meeting his gaze as she glanced back at him. He gave her a reassuring squeeze before turning away, walking the few yards to hang it neatly on the coatrack beside the door.

CJ hugged her arms to her chest, bowing her head as she started to make her way to the couch. She felt unsteady on her feet, and a second later she actually stumbled, Danny darting forward to steady her.

“Sorry.” CJ touched her forehead, her hand shaking. “I haven't really 'eaten' today,” she admitted.

He looked at her with concern, his hands still on her waist. “You want me to throw you something together?”

CJ gaped at him for a moment, unsure if she was going to laugh or cry, then settled for simply shaking her head a little. “No. You absolutely do not need to do that,” she said firmly, closing her eyes.

Danny considered her, tilting his head. “You sure? It's not any trouble-”

“Positive,” she said heavily, pulling away so she could sit down. Danny was quiet, hovering over her.

“What'd you have for dinner?” he asked lightly.

CJ shuddered instinctively, not answering right away.

A crease appeared in his brow. “CJ?”

She sighed, glancing up at him wearily. “I have a weak stomach.”

Danny raised his eyebrows, looking exhausted. “That's not something I'd ever have believed about you.”

“Well...Believe it,” CJ shrugged, glancing up at him uneasily. “How d'you think I stay this thin?” she added, with a weak attempt at a joke.

“Working too much and forgetting to eat,” he replied steadily, and a chill radiated through the room for a moment, his jab coming too close for comfort.

“...I'm fine,” she promised, managing a wan smile.

“I'm worried about you.”

“I'm _fine_ , Danny,” she repeated quietly, her eyes tired and sad.

He hesitated, not wanting to push, but in the end his concern for her beat out his concern for himself.

“CJ...” he continued, his voice miraculously calm. “Did you _get_ any dinner?”

“Do you _really_ want to talk about food right now?”

“You're the one who brought it up,” he pointed out. His eyes had a searching quality about them.

CJ sighed, wringing her hands. “Please,” she said quietly, shifting uncomfortably.

Danny gazed at her soberly, taking a moment before he replied. She looked strangely small, bent into herself on his navy-colored sofa. His expression had grown shrewd, the lines in his face pronounced. “CJ,” he said wearily. “Did you ever get __lunch__?”

CJ grimaced, avoiding his eyes. Danny groaned, gazing at her anxiously, his voice rising an octave as he crouched next to her.

He sighed, his eyes laced with concern as he gazed ruefully up at her.

“...You're walking around with just a muffin and ten cups of coffee in you?”

CJ bit her lip, meeting his eyes.

“Don't look at me like that.”

He sighed, tilting his head. “Like what?”

“Like that. I feel guilty enough as it is.”

Danny paused at this, his pale blue eyes still heavy with distress. He was quiet for a moment, turning ideas over in his mind.

“...Okay,” he said calmly, shrugging.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Danny tipped his head, his expression still light. “Do you think it would bother you if _I_ ate something?” he asked offhandedly. “I skipped dinner too.”

CJ blinked, caught off-guard. “No, that's - fine.”

“Thanks.” He kissed her cheek, swiftly standing up.

CJ turned, watching as he disappeared into the kitchen, then sighed to herself as she leaned back on the couch, listening to the sounds of him rummaging through the cupboard.

* * *

“Sorry 'bout that,” he said lightly, slipping back into the living room a few minutes later.

CJ's brow furrowed as he sat beside her, her eyes drifting over the bowl in his hand. Danny leaned back, getting comfortable, careful not to knock into his abandoned glass of scotch as he hoisted his feet onto the coffee table.

“...What are you doing?” she asked quietly. She was exhausted, barely recognizing the sensation of the corners of her lips twitching.

Danny glanced at her, a spoon held aloft in front of him. “Eatin' ice cweam,” he replied a second later, his mouth full of green goo.

“I can see that.”

Danny raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. CJ sighed, fighting wearily to mask her weak smile.

“You're eating mint chocolate chip ice cream,” she pressed.

“So?” Danny swallowed.

The corners of her lips twitched again.

“You hate mint chocolate chip,” she said heavily.

Danny brought another spoonful to his mouth, shooting her a weird look.

“Shows what you know,” he shrugged.

CJ stared flatly back at him. “You hate mint chocolate chip,” she repeated. “You pout and pucker your lips whenever I kiss you after I've been eating it.”

Danny raised his eyebrows. “Maybe you're a bad kisser.”

CJ smacked his head.

“You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're upset about something.” Danny tipped his head, quirking an eyebrow. “Violent behavior, delusions-”

“Excuse me?” she laughed. “What am I supposed to be _delusional_ about?”

Danny shrugged, looking skeptical. “I happen to love mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“You hate mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“It's my favorite.”

“It's _my_ favorite,” she sighed, holding back a laugh. She shook her head, smiling ruefully. “Do you seriously think this is gonna work?” she asked.

“ _Paranoid_ delusions, even,” Danny said thoughtfully. He squinted slightly, his expression becoming mock-serious. “I mean it, I think maybe you're suffering from some sort of psychotic episode. You know my sister's a psychiatrist, I know a little about this stuff - do you have a particularly stressful lifestyle?” he added, gazing intently at her.

CJ shook her head in disbelief, staring at him, her lips now pressed tightly together to keep a straight face. Her earlier urge to either laugh or cry was back in full force.

“What about blood sugar...did you get enough to eat today?” Danny glanced at her curiously. “...Sleep?” He squinted again, pretending to look shrewd. “You feeling light-headed at all?”

“I hate you,” she chuckled, her voice low.

“Liar.” Danny smiled at her, taking a particularly big bite.

“This isn't going to work.”

“What isn't?” He licked the spoon.

“We should be talking about what we're going to do,” she said softly.

Danny frowned, cradling the bowl closer to his chest. “We'll talk in a minute. I'm eating my ice cream.”

CJ watched him for another minute, finally breaking as Danny started making it a point to lick the spoon between every scoop, savoring every morsel. “You _ass_ ,” she choked, biting her lip hard.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“ _Give_ it to me!” she sputtered, snatching it out of his hands.

“A'kay,” Danny said calmly, raising his eyebrows and putting his hands in the air. “You know if you wanted some, you could've just asked.”

CJ shook her head, sighing and digging the spoon into the minty green concoction.

“I really do hate you,” she said firmly, bringing it to her mouth.

He watched her, the shadow of a smile in his eyes. “A'kay.”

* * *  
  


“Feel better?” Danny asked, raising his eyebrows as CJ gulped down the last of her bowl.

She sighed, setting it down on the coffee table. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of answering honestly.

“I ate your damn ice cream,” she said flatly, smiling slightly as she leaned back.

“You _stole_ my damn ice cream,” Danny replied, as she gazed silently at him. He tilted his head, looking pointedly at her. “I still haven't heard an apology by the way.”

She watched him for a moment, her gaze wandering over his scruffy face. A jolt ran through her, and suddenly her hands were moving of their own volition, clutching his collar and pulling him toward her, her lips joining in the treacherous fun as they shoved themselves hastily against his. Her tongue worked its way in, and she sighed as she sunk against him.

Danny swallowed, blinking slowly a moment later as she pulled gently away.

“...That'll work,” he said breathily, looking dazed.

CJ smiled, her hand finding his.

“I really do want to talk,” she said gently, her voice earnest as she considered him.

Danny gazed back at her, a smile spreading across his features. “Okay,” he said sweetly.

CJ hesitated, turning toward him so their knees brushed together. Her eyes traveled slowly over his face. “...You must be furious with me,” she finally murmured.

“Not exactly the word I would use.” He shrugged, reaching for a sip of his scotch glass still sitting on the coffee table. There was a moment of silence as he shuddered at the taste, setting it back down and turning to face her.

CJ looked at her lap, wringing her hands again. “I don't know if I want to know what word you would use,” she said wryly, her voice low.

“CJ...” He sighed, his expression longing. She gazed back at him in silence, squinting slightly as he continued. “I'm not – _mad_ ,” he said slowly.

CJ met his gaze bravely, her eyes sad and uncertain.

“Well, I _was_ ,” he relented.

“But you're not anymore,” she said quietly.

“Not so much,” he sighed. CJ stared at him, her expression difficult to read.

“... _Why_?” she asked incredulously.

The corners of his lips twitched. “Hm. Guess I wasn't clear on that.”

“Clear on what?” CJ frowned, unsure if he was teasing her again.

Almost on cue, Danny grinned at her. “Turns out, I'm a little crazy about you too,” he said raspily.

“Don't make jokes,” she sighed, biting her lip anxiously as she tried not to smile.

“CJ. _Relax_ ,” he said softly, touching her face. “...I'm not goin' anywhere.”

She closed her eyes at his touch, her breath shaking.

Danny stared at her for a second, then managed to close what was left of the gap between them, breathing in the scent of her. CJ exhaled sharply, closing her eyes and sinking her weight against him. “ _C'mere_ ,” he murmured.

He could feel the tension of her muscles as he wrapped his arms around her, sighing to himself.

She felt the tears threaten to fall again, burning against her eyes, and there was a slicing feeling in her chest as her breathing grew difficult. His response was immediate; his embrace tightened like a shield around her, and she felt a wave of relief course through her as he kissed the side of her head, rubbing her back and whispering words of comfort into her ear. As her breathing gradually settled again, his grip lessened; she relaxed, taking in his familiar scent and the warmth of his body as she cuddled into him. It made her feel vaguely, pleasantly sleepy, in a way that had nothing to do with her four and a half hours of sleep the night before.

The elusive, dangerous set of words cycled through her head again, and she knew it wouldn't be long before she couldn't stop herself from saying them. She had a brief vision of what his face might look like when she finally uttered the phrase, and had to bite down on her lip to keep herself from actually saying anything aloud. She wasn't ready, she knew it as clearly as she knew that she felt it, and when she _did_ say it, she wanted him to _know,_ without any doubts or questions of her motivations. She wanted him to be able to appreciate it for what it was – an honest declaration, not a plea for reconciliation. She wanted it to be happy, and certain, not tainted or bittersweet...

He kissed her cheek, and CJ smiled into his shoulder, starting to rub circles into his back, listening to the sound of his breathing contrast with hers, and then feeling them settle into a mutual rhythm.

They stayed like that for awhile, wrapped up in each other, and she could feel her strength seeping back into her, as his warmth spread through her.

“Shhh. It's okay,” he whispered reassuringly, his breath at her ear. She shivered as his lips brushed her neck, his hoarse murmurs coming interspersed between his kisses. “Breathe,” he reminded her.

“You're making it difficult.”

Danny smiled, his face lighting up the room as he pulled away enough to look at her. She smiled back in spite of herself, and he offered her a boyish smile in return. He brought his hands to her cheeks, framing her face as he rested his forehead against hers for a moment.

“So,” he said gently.

“So,” she repeated. There was a pause, as they considered each other. “I don't know where to start,” she sighed, looking at him ruefully.

Danny gave her a half-smile, squeezing her hand. “Start by __relaxing__ ,” he coaxed her. “Baby steps, CJ.”

“...Right,” CJ said slowly, exhaling. “Relax,” she repeated under her breath. She leaned back against the couch, tipping her head back and breathing deeply. “ _Relax_ ,” she instructed herself quietly, her chest rising and falling in broad movements.

Danny waited a moment, wanting to let her get into a rhythm before he broached the elephant in the room. His revery was interrupted a second later, as CJ jolted suddenly upright, shaking her head insistently as she turned back to him.

“I can't relax. I need you to just give it to me.”

“What?”

She stared at him. “I'm serious,” she said heavily. “I need you to just, rip the bandaid off,” CJ grimaced. “Give me your worst.”

“Well-” he faltered, meeting her eyes again. Her gaze was steady, her steel-colored eyes piercing him.

“I mean, _ideally_...if we're dealing with one thing at a time...” he said carefully, half holding his breath. He sighed, studying her. “I know you want to move on to what comes next, but...” His eyes found hers, his index finger stroking the back of her hand. “I think we need to talk about what exactly happened today.”

CJ's shoulders dropped as she faltered. She made a face at the ceiling, exhaling slowly.

“CJ, just _talk_ to me,” he said gently. “What happened?”

She closed her eyes, her voice low. “I did a nutty, that's what.”

“CJ,” Danny shifted in his seat, smiling slightly.

She sighed wearily, looking at him again. It was a moment before she spoke.

“Honestly, a lot of it really is just – physical,” she said quietly, wringing her hands again. “It's things that have nothing to do with you.”

“Okay?” he pressed softly, looking pained.

CJ swallowed, closing her eyes again. “And I'm not trying to make excuses...I know what... _happened_ today was - awful, and I know I have a lot of – work to do,” she added, her voice low. “'Training', or whatever you want to call it...But I really do think this is going to get _so_ much easier in two weeks.” She paused to study him, her eyes sad. Danny gazed calmly back at her, gently squeezing her hand. CJ managed a tired smile, squeezing back.

“ _Today_ was – stress, and anxiety, and exhaustion,” she continued wearily. “And then there's all this overlap, because I never have the chance to clear my _head_ , or sort out my feelings, so they kind of...feed off each other.”

Danny was quiet, nodding slowly. “...Okay,” he said patiently, leaning forward to kiss the side of her head.

She hesitated, moving subtly closer. Danny considered her, holding back a smile. There was a moment of silence.

“...Today was a _really_ bad day,” she said softly. She met his eyes tentatively, and he melted at the vulnerability there.

“Okay,” he repeated quietly, carefully draping an arm around her. “You want to _talk_ about it?” he added gently.

“Not really,” CJ said bluntly, but gave him a half-smile as she continued, her voice softening. “...I got to work this morning, and they were clearing out my office.”

Danny sighed, leaning in to press his lips to her head again.

“And yes, I am - exhausted,” she said quietly. “And part of me can't wait to get the hell out of there. But-” she swallowed, picking at a thread on her shirt. “It's complicated,” she admitted, her voice tired. She looked up ruefully. “This has been my life for eight years, Danny.”

“I know,” he said gently, offering her a sympathetic smile.

“And it's been one of the most incredible, meaningful experiences of my life. It doesn't mean I want to do it any more, and it doesn't mean I care about you any less, it just... _really_ hurts,” she admitted softly.

“...I know,” he repeated gently, squeezing her hand. She smiled gratefully at him, sighing heavily.

“Meanwhile,” she grimaced, closing her eyes as she leaned her head into his shoulder. “I have all the pressure of forcing every _possible_ potential achievement of the President's legacy into the next ten days, or risk regretting it for the rest of my life – while dealing with a staff that seems to be predominately beleaguered with a case of raging Senioritis, and thinks we have _nothing_ left to do - which leaves me to be Chief Helicopter Mom, trying to keep the troops in line long enough to get through the mound of work that __is__ left to do, and with very little time left to do it in.”

“Sure,” Danny nodded, mulling her words over.

“And then Andy _Wyatt_ came in,” CJ murmured heavily, her eyes still closed. “About twenty minutes before you did, as a matter a fact. We had a nice little chat, she told me how the twins are doing – then she asked me if oh, by the way, is there any way I could try to convince the President to pardon my currently prison-bound best friend?”

She fell suddenly silent, trying to marshall her thoughts again, then lifted a hand to start massaging her temple.

Danny was quiet for a moment, absorbing this bombshell.

“...You should have told me that,” he said softly, meeting her eyes.

CJ looked away, raising her eyebrows as she finally glanced back at him. “I didn't really want to think about it,” she said warily.

“Well _t_ _ _hat's__ a healthy approach!” he chastised gently, smiling wryly at her, and she gave a weak grin, shaking her head a little as she shrugged.

“ _Seriously_? It wasn't exactly an easy discussion in the first place, but - God, Danny, you have to cut me some _slack_. You don't see how that'd be a particularly sensitive subject anyway for me and you?”

“...Ah,” Danny said uncomfortably, realizing. “...I'm sorry,” he said finally. His brow furrowed. “...but you talked to Toby?” he asked gently.

“I don't know what's going to happen,” she said quietly, sensing his next question. Danny squeezed her hand.

“I'm sorry,” he repeated, his voice soft.

CJ sighed, giving him a sad smile. “So that was...a whole new can of worms. And I couldn't exactly -” she paused, her expression conflicted. “I didn't have–” she hesitated again, trying to work through her thoughts. “...I guess, in a nutshell, none of the things weighing on my mind were capable of being worked through in a ten minute walk to a hot dog stand.”

“Sure,” he agreed, his smile sympathetic. Danny sighed, his expression thoughtful as he ran his fingers over her hair.

“...Bad day,” he repeated quietly.

“It really was.”

“...Well,” Danny sighed, squeezing her hand again. “We'll have a lot of those,” he said resolutely, gazing at her intently.

“You're very 'up', aren't you?” she asked dryly.

Danny smiled, his voice gentle. “But we're gonna have a lot more of the other kind,” he continued.

CJ managed a small smile, her eyes meeting his as he brought his hand to her face.

“Thanks,” she said softly.

Danny smiled, kissing her head.

“...Feel better?” he asked again.

CJ closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to his.

“Do that about a hundred more times,” she said quietly.

Danny let his gaze drift over her face, memorizing it, before leaning forward, brushing his lips across her forehead again. “Ah'kay.”  
  


 

 


	4. Maybe (Reprise)

Ten minutes later she was curled up beside him, her eyes closed as he rubbed her back.

“...So,” CJ began, after a moment's silence. “We should talk about what's going to happen in two weeks.”

Danny peered at her intently, shifting his body another inch closer to hers as he turned to face her.

“...That would be great,” he replied, his voice a little hoarse. She smiled nervously, scooting closer to him, and he smiled sleepily as he touched her cheek.

“Look...I know you're exhausted,” he said gently. “And I don't expect us to stay up for the next two hours, working out every intimate detail of the next ten years of our lives together,” he added wryly. “I just need to know you're not going to _disappear_ on me in two weeks.”

“I'm not going to -” she cut in.

“I just need to know you're _on_ _ _board__ ,” he said wistfully. “That this - __means__ _something to you_ , because - it means a hell of a lot to me.”

“...It means a lot to me too,” she whispered.

The smile that broke across Danny's face might have raised her body a few solid degrees, such was the heat that washed over her. She looked back at him hopefully, biting her lip again as a smile spread across her face. Yet even as they gazed wordlessly at each other, she could see the tears welling in his eyes, watery and pained and loving, and the sight left her heart in pieces.

“...We should _talk_ ,” she said earnestly. “We should figure out some sort of game plan. Otherwise it's going to be hanging over us for the next two weeks making us both anxious and miserable.”

Danny hesitated, weighing her words as he wiped gently at her tear-streaked face. “Now? You sure you're up t-?”

“I'm up to it.” Her voice was tired, but steady. She sighed, smiling wearily. “Besides - I'm not going to be able to sleep feeling like this, and I need to, because in twelve hours people are going to be talking to me about famines and nuclear weapons.”

“Okay.” He sighed, smiling sadly. “So –“ He shifted, what's this Franklin Hollis thing?”

CJ shrugged, smiling slightly. “We didn't really go into details. He just said he wanted to start a foundation, but he didn't really know what _for_ yet. He thought I'd have a good idea where to start. I talked about infrastructure -”

“That's smart,” Danny murmured thoughtfully, listening intently.

“- He said fine, offered to let me spearhead it – and that was it, really,” she said softly.

Danny gazed at her, squeezing her hand. The memory of her description during their walk repeated itself in his mind. _'The most attractive offer that I think I've_ _ **ever**_ _heard_ _-'_

“...What are you thinking?” he asked carefully.

CJ shifted, sighing a little as she gazed back at him.

“I think...I'm exhausted,” she agreed, and Danny smiled a little as she continued. She looked down at his hand as she grasped it in hers, tracing it gently with the fingers of her other hand. “And I think, it's more than end-of-the-day exhaustion,” she said slowly. **“** I think it's – possible, that working 149 hours a day for the past 8 years has...taken its toll on me."

“It's possible."

CJ sighed.

“I think, a lot happened today,” she continued soberly. “And it was complicated and I haven't quite worked it all out yet, but-”

She was silent for a moment, thinking.

“I think I need a break,” she said quietly.

“Really?” he asked tentatively, his surprise superseding the leap of hope in his stomach.

CJ didn't answer right away, still brushing her fingers over the back of his hand.

“...Do you remember our second date?” she asked finally, glancing up with a shrewd expression.

He thought back. A moment later he'd even managed a smile. “Which one?”

Her response was automatic. “That was a business dinner.”

Danny grinned. “My mistake.”

CJ shook her head, trying not to laugh. “Last October, at the Equinox,” she clarified, her broad smile still threatening to light up the room. “The second time. When you made that sweet, incredibly romantic speech I was completely undeserving of both then and now.”

“Hey. None of that,” he said firmly. “What were you saying?” he pushed on.

She grew quiet again. “Just –“ she glanced up at him, meeting his eyes. “Do you remember I apologized for how I'd been acting?”

“Yeah,” he said lightly, watching her intently.

CJ sighed, closing her eyes wearily as she grasped his hand tighter for a moment.

“...I said I was worried,” she explained, meeting his gaze. “About...” she frowned, her eyes drifting blankly down to his chest. “Turning into a person I didn't want to become.”

“...For what it's worth, I still think you're pretty great,” he offered gently, smiling sweetly.

“Today I wasn't,” she said bluntly, sighing to herself. She bit her lip, leaning back to look up at the ceiling.

He gazed at her. “You were stressed.”

“I'm always __stressed__. That's my point,” she said quietly. She shifted, getting a better look at him.

“I want the Franklin Hollis job,” she said simply, managing a small smile. “But I also want a _break_. I think it could be a really good idea, to just – take some time off,” CJ confessed softly. “Even if I make up my mind officially in the next couple days, even if we've made arrangements for what we'll do to make it work - I don't need to __throw__ myself into some new job the day after I leave the White House,” she said ruefully. He tried to look encouraging, her hands still resting on his. “I can take a month or two to just...unravel. Relax. Recover from everything I've put myself through the past few years.”

Danny gazed at her, breathless, and CJ smiled sweetly at him. “...I want to _relax_ ,” she added, her expression wistful. “Take some time for us to – build things. Talk about stuff, figure out where we stand. Get to be together.”

He sighed his approval of her words, leaning in to capture her lips with his. She responded eagerly, their exhaustion weighing over them as their hands started exploring. She grinned as she stroked his thighs, feeling his hand work its way an inch or two up her camisole, finally settling on the warm skin there.

“I just want to lay low for awhile...” she continued softly, when they paused to catch their breath. “And I want you to hang around with me while I do. Help me figure some stuff out.”

Danny smiled, playing absentmindedly with her hair.

“And...it means...I want to find a really good cliff for us to jump off of,” she breathed. He gazed back, mesmerized.

“A'kay.”

CJ laughed, moving back in as he returned his lips to hers. He kissed her softly, starting to ease her backward onto the couch. She stared into his light blue eyes, and felt a fleeting moment of appreciation on behalf of her trembling knees that they were lying down.

Neither of them pulled away this time; her lips pawing eagerly at his, the kiss growing deeper as she ran a hand through his curls, the other slipping under his shirt and up his chest.

“This is nice,” she murmured huskily.

“This is fantastic,” he breathed back.

She laughed. “The kissing, or the talking?”

“Both.” He rubbed her lips with his, and she exhaled, grinning.

She laughed a little as their lips toyed with each other, loving the feeling of his beard brushing against her chin. She let herself give into it for awhile, just responding to his sweet-tasting mouth, her heart racing. He beamed at her, eagerly enveloping her with kisses.

When they finally pulled away, an understanding seemed to pass between them, and she brushed her fingers tenderly across his face.

“ _So._ Um...” she laughed, her voice shaky. “Recap of the plan,” she began, checking in with him with her eyes as they tried to juggle the various activities of their mouths. “...Next step,” she managed, struggling for breath. She stifled another laugh, grinning in exhilaration as Danny nibbled softly at her lips. “Find out more about the Franklin Hollis job, see if it's actually too good to be true...”

Danny began moving his lips slowly over her face, planting kisses across her cheeks and forehead. She closed her eyes, sighing softly. “...Then talk it over together, figure out what's next,” she continued breathlessly. He brought his lips to hers again, making her shiver. “Come to a decision...” She laughed quietly, giddy, his mouth teasing against hers. “Take some time off after the Inauguration,” she murmured, rubbing her nose against his. “Let ourselves just – enjoy each other.” She smiled coyly at him, acutely aware of the pressure already making itself known against her upper thigh. He closed his eyes, pressing himself against her as he silently swallowed.

“Try to start making up for lost time,” she continued. She touched his face, her gaze tracing over his features. “Maybe go on dates that don't include stealthy notebooks or beepers going off.”

“That sounds like fun,” he breathed longingly.

“Let you dote on me a little,” she added gently. “Try to do some doting back.”

For a moment Danny seemed incapable of both speech and kisses; he just rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed.

“I think I could get behind that,” he whispered hoarsely.

“I thought you might,” she said softly. He opened his eyes, gazing at her, and simultaneously leaned down as she leaned up, their lips meeting in the middle.

It was slow and simple; there was something rhythmic and comfortable to the patience behind their kisses now. For awhile they just relaxed, their mouths reacting to each other instinctively. Her breath was settling, his warm body covering hers.

Danny pulled gently away, gazing at her longingly. He was beaming - trying and failing to contain himself. The corner of her lip twitched, as she snuggled closer against him.

“...You have no idea how beautiful you are,” he muttered softly.

“I do actually.” CJ's laugh was lit with confidence, but there was a warm gratefulness in her eyes too.

He kissed her sweetly, his lips burning. Her scent was intoxicating.

She was still shaking with laughter, the result of the tremendous release of tension and anxiety still seeping out of her, and Danny stared down at her, wondering if he'd ever been more attracted to her in his life.

“Come here,” she murmured seductively, wrapping both arms around his neck.

“A'kay,” he said softly, leaning forward and kissing her again. As their lips met she felt like her stomach was falling through her, and she inhaled sharply, bringing her hands up to cup his face as he deepened the pressure. He was touching her face now too, stroking her delicate cheekbones, his thumb running along her jawline.

She ran her hands over his chest, still relieved that he was letting her, their noses bumping together for a moment.

Their lips were separated by only a few centimeters now; CJ stared up at his mouth, biting her own, perfectly aware of the racing of her heart. Danny's eyes traced over her face, smiling to himself as he whispered in her ear.

“You're gorgeous, Claudia Jean.”

She laughed again at the rare use of her full name. The sight of her laugh – her pure abandon and vulnerability, when all was said and done – was enough to take his breath away. She ran her fingers through his curls, catching her breath. He gazed down at her, and something inside him broke.

There was a moment of absolute silence, as the remaining tension between them seemed to simply ease away.

Danny's whisper seemed to hover in the air --

“...I...absolutely adore you, CJ.”

Their eyes met, the unspoken words obvious to both of them, and then she was leaning in again, her gaze intense and more than a little adoring herself. Her kisses were deep and urgent and he could feel himself responding, pushing himself against her, gasping as she lifted her hips to meet his. She pulled him closer, lifting her head to intensify the kiss.

Her lingering giggles broke off as he moved his lips down to her neck, her breath becoming strangled. His mouth felt hot on her skin.

Her hands were traveling up his back now, and he let out a gasp as she ran one of her hands through his hair, pulling him closer to her. Her chest was heaving against his. And suddenly, her blouse was on the floor, and he was pushing her deeper into the couch, his mouth back on hers, both of their kisses growing more desperate as their lips battled for closeness. Neither could seem to find enough of the other to touch, even as their clothes continued to fall onto the carpet.

He wanted to tell her, __now__ , but he was so scared of overwhelming her, of pushing her away from him. He settled for letting his eyes probe hers, and as she gazed back at him, her eyes heavy with lust - and maybe ( _ _maybe, maybe, maybe__ ) something else - something inside him told him she knew anyway.

* * *

An hour later CJ lay sprawled against Danny's naked chest, her face buried in his neck. Her hand was tangled in his curls, their bodies rising and falling gently in tandem as they breathed.

The quiet was broken a moment later, as CJ'S murmur drifted through the room.

“...Hey Danny?” she asked softly.

“Hmm,” he breathed, kissing the side of her head.

CJ shifted, still in a state hovering between sleep and consciousness as she tilted her head up to kiss his jaw.

“...Do you have any more of that ice cream left?”

He grinned, kissing the top of her head before he started disentangling himself from the sheets, then rolled wordlessly off the bed.


End file.
